Waves

i sense a distance growing between us
as the waves of childish passion recede
we are still standing on the shore
together
and healing

it feels appropriate to move to the side
giving each other space
to grow. hurt. heal.

and the great things about waves
they always return
and we will still be standing
healthier. peaceful.

alone or together. in strength

Waves

J Wept.

Jesus wept.

Short, to the point. Perhaps poetic…perhaps…
Mostly for the Jesus part and less about the weeping.

Johnpaul wept.

See…not that interesting. Here the tears overshadow the man.
And no one is turning the page.

Jesus probably did a lot of things (assuming he did any at all)
But, “Jesus threw a blanket on the back of a donkey, got a boost from Thomas, hopped up, and rode off into the sunset” is far to mouthy. Even if he was weeping the entire time.

Jesus hopped.

That’s how I would tell the story if I were a first century writer pretending to know him.
“Keep it vague”, I would say to myself, “let the reader decide why”. But I don’t know him.
And won’t pretend as such.

J Wept.

I’m wishing

I wish “I Love You” would be enough. Not the words of course, anyone can say them. I wish MY love would be enough. For you and me. forever. I wish your love for me would fulfill all the requirements that forever desires. We love each other deeply, I wish that were enough.

So many souls are wandering alone without a friend to hold. So many people have made the commitment to spend eternity together. So many have said “our love is enough” and foolishly rushed into mediocrity. But I love you isn’t enough. And you love me isn’t enough. And all the nights we spend falling asleep together laughing peacefully in each other’s arms…and yes, all the peaceful moments that we share….the way you relax my anxious mind and allow me to be…the way you silently caress the back of my neck while accidentally missing your turn…the way we keep on driving and singing or talking or in silence…it…isn’t…
Why isn’t our love enough? Why can’t it be guaranteed? Why?

Lighting just struck outside the window of this plane that I am on. And lighting strikes remind me of how people fall in love. Quickly. With a flash. And often followed by loud rumblings. A moment of perfection in a time of desperate need. Bright lights shooting through the soul. Electric connections buzzing in every inch of your body. A storm of emotions drawing two people together. Protecting each other until the storm passes.

Followed by quiet…

But we didn’t flash. We didn’t find love in the lights we found each other in the slow. Walking. Drinking tea. Daily texts. That’s the love that lasts. That’s how we know we can be forever. That’s how…

Life dictates what lasts forever as love stands right behind. So I can hold your hand in Ohio and I can long for you deeply from Oregon and still life whispers in my ear, “distance”.

Life give us please, that chance. Let us prove ourselves.. to ourselves… and find fulfillment in forever. Don’t take her away. Further than she is.

I wish our love was enough. I’m hoping life gives us a chance.

I’m wishing

somewhere

Just go          (somewhere)

Turn left. Turn right. Doesn’t fit. But forget?????
…           it isn’t a puzzle
Commitment is more than finding corners
_    and    _
filling in the pieces
Forever doesn’t worry if everything is right
One day the picture will be complete
…     despite it’s missing pieces

And I’ll be staring at your perfection

somewhere

Depravity

Depravity doesn’t come in half doses
It isn’t a partial rose
in bloom while withering
It isn’t a flower at all

Depravity lacks
In full. Completely.
A garden of dirt
No seeds. No growth.
It’s a soul deserving of love
Abandoned by breath
A heart without beating

I am deprived of you
Of your touch
Your lips on mine
Saying good morning or
Goodnight
Instead of saying goodbye

I want that to be our forever
To change the rules of life
To be deprived of loneliness
I’ve become accustom to

But life trumps love
And dictates every move
As you thrive 2,000 miles away
While I strive to make it through

And I do

Deprived of what I want
Despite having all I need
That’s right I don’t
need
but I want more than ever
All I’m lacking

You.

Depravity

I want you to love me

I found you dancing with strength behind your eyes

While you found me grieving. Pretending to be alive.

You let me close and offered more

To teach me peace and someone to hold

To stretch my soul as I stretch my body

I knew nothing of your world

Sheltered by the promise of eternal life which shunned me upon my exit

My eyes were opened. Wide. Impossible dreams with impassible walls.

He’s waiting outside. If you want to meet him.

I want to run and hide.

It’s nice to meet to you. Not over breakfast. It’s nice to meet you. Now goodbye.

Bonfires. Tequila. And another goodbye.

I want you to love me