In nature with flowers
In my car, my bed
In a vintage store
In my head

Everywhere I turn your scent follows behind

So I stop and I look
and smile
for you

It’s not your scent that I smell
It’s your presence I feel
Everywhere

You are with me shopping for furniture
and when I’m driving to work
and hiking through the forest or
waking up each morning

your face is all I see
and all i think about
how lucky am I
to know you

a family of lovers

A got dumped again tonight. And as he lay in bed sobbing I started to cry with him. And it was in that moment that I realized we shared the same heart.

Loyal and committed and content and loving.

Some people are bred to be broken. Some hearts are made to break. And that is the lot we were given. That is the straw the we drew…

And I wouldn’t change it for a moment. Not for a second. Because as much pain as lovers will feel…we feel. And we love. Unafraid (yet so afraid). And in that moment when love is shared, our world is complete. And without us what would be left? A cold and scared world? A world full of runners?

A is young and doesn’t know yet. I was young and didn’t know. But now…

Now I have felt love. I have felt what it means to love and be loved…and I know what it is like to have someone allow you to love them…I don’t have to try to climb walls or tear them down…there are those who want and appreciate and need my love. And i need theirs.

So as A cries, I try to comfort. I hold him and I cry with him…because I know the pain. It’s the pain of selflessness. It’s the pain of contentment. But I also encourage. Because we are a special few; that will heal others while healing ourselves.

And my head is held high. And he is adorable. And we are a broken family that will learn how to heal and grow…but most of all…we are a family that will love…no matter the personal cost.

My family. A and K and B and Me.

We are a family of lovers. And we are together.

a family of lovers

big heart broken

Child crying ’cause she has moved on
tender heart is broken now
I am also crying with him
Now I know that I am him

Little boy who’s heart was broken
his big heart was hurt again

Tender hearts are set to lose
Tender hearts are set to bruise
We love too much, we are too loyal
We aren’t meant to play this game

Yet love is sweet and love is gentle
Will you let us love again?

big heart broken

Disney 

Sitting on the balcony of Disney’s Grand California hotel.
Listening to fireworks and children yell. 
And tonight she said she needed her best friend
and I asked for just a minute more…
she took the high road and said “no”. 
And now I know
that as much as I love her
I respect her even more.  

She is so amazing, and sadly it hurts us all
But no one hurts like she does, nothing hurts like…  

And separation is just a step…
but in a direction towards pain
And I want to stop her but I don’t know what’s real. 

Because I am hurting too  

Disney 

Jesus Saves

i’ve been thinking about jesus
i’ve been thinking about tea and lunch
i’ve been thinking about you and
i’ve been thinking about us

if jesus can save, well
you are my savior
sign me up

but jesus can’t save and
i want it all yet
it’s never enough

i’ve been thinking about jesus
i’m just thinking of us

Jesus Saves

Self Control

I make so many promises about doing what’s right and being mature. And now I don’t want to. I still know what’s right and I will be mature because it’s important to me and important to her. But this is so hard. I want to pretend that we could just hang out and be friends but I know better than that.

So I’ll bite my tongue and my fingers that text and I’ll take a deep breath and know that these feelings will pass. And that what is right is what we need to do.

Pat us on the back, for all our self control.

Don’t touch me.

Self Control